Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Creepy Crawlers

Arachnaphobia is what I have. I'm here to show you the closest I will ever get to these creepy, hairy, ugly, venom ridden, crawlers. I was lucky enough to find this bugger in my room a few days ago. Flabberghasted, shocked, and frightened all at the same time, I reached for the camera. This particular spider quickly moved under furniture etc. So I had to get really close to it, too close for comfort, and blow on it to make it move. The spider eventually went out in the open, where this ariel shot was taken. He sprinted under the couch after the flash, that's probably why his gross, hairy leg is spread out, ready to move. I flabberghastedly hasted, and took all these pictures in about 30 seconds. The spider looked at me with an expression of disgust. Can you believe that? Now the spider thinks it's all that. I hate them with every passion I have in my soul.

The bent skinny legs give me and thousands of other people give shivers down our spines. The white-ish body make the spider even more of a freak of nature. Up against the cold white wall, the spider must feel violated with me in its personal space. It is said that the ethiopians believed that spiders had a personal radius, and whenever someone or something invades that space, they will strike with avengence.

Sepia: makes the spider less terrifying in person. There is nothing like seeing a spider in real life than seeing it in a merely safe framed picture...

Up close, the spider gets horrified by the camera lens. It crouches its legs even more, moving its fangs, ready to strike at any innocent living thing that comes in its way from its prey. Prey being, in fact, my camera. It chased me when I made it move, but i merely stepped over it. It is heard that the early Egyptians used black spiders to eat the mummified beings eyes out. It is said that when the spider digests the eyes, the next web they make is part of the beings after life, so they can watch over the other humans, as disguised as a spider web.

The white buttox of this creepy crawler is ready to spit its nasty white web onto some relenting object without hesitation. Its fangs stick out while the legs tower over the whole body, like it is concaved in hair.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Where's Waldo?

Because he is 15, everything around him seems more dull and vacant. He has three metal legs, because he fell off the roof of our old 4 story house, onto the concrete. His name is Waldo, and is now 22 pounds and trying to lose weight. This is his story:

A facial expression that defines Waldo as a whole. Confused, doubt, hopelessness, and mild wisdom from his years sitting in the same place in the house, for 8 hours at a time, watching the world revolve around him.

Waldo in action. His sleepiness intrigue's even the most intellectual philosophers, and his snoring wakes even the most deep sleepers. His facial expressions change in his sleep, while everything else moves up and down from his inconsistent breathing. His whiskers even look like they are resting, while at the same time, the white fur on his chin is fading.

His bones get increasingly cold during the winter, therefore, he needs every possible sunlight ray he can get. The camera makes him angry, feel depressed and lonesome, feel as if he is a dying breed.

His achluophobia does not stop him from walking in the night. In fact he fights many raccoons to gain his wise reputation around the neighborhood.

One of my favorite pictures of him. This represents his dominance over daisy. He loves to look down on her, scold her, and whine at her when she gets close. All in all, it's an unbalanced relationship. 

His daily stroll outside the house sometimes gets cut short when he see's a canine across the street, or a loud car driving by. If he could, he would sit outside on the steps all day, half of his moldy body in the sunlight, and half in the cool shade.

His shorter hairs on his nose are ideal for petting, and his blubbery cheeks are sensitive to the human touch.  Trapped in a maximum security household, he has hours to reflect on what his life has been like. Wondering what he could have done differently. 

Depressed at the sight of the world running without him, a flick of his tail is all he needs to show his true emotions.

Starting a deal with the Arminian Mafia, He battles to defend his turf. His fraternity of feline's consisted of just himself, though still running the block maturely and with zero flaws.